I spent part of my day yesterday helping with Mitzi while her husband got all of the loose ends tied up and the car packed in prep for a beach evacuation. It’s amazing how life swirls around someone with advanced Alzheimer’s and they are shielded from it at this point. One of the only gifts of this part of the disease…
In many of the Alz support groups I’m part of on Facebook, many folks are asking questions right and left about preparing for a hurricane with a loved one who has Alzheimer’s. I asked Gary if he would share his candid thoughts on what this process is like, and he graciously agreed. Impending storms are so stressful in and of themselves, but when you are wholly responsible for someone in the end stage of a disease like Alzheimer’s, having been homebound with Hospice for almost 6 months, there is SO much more to think about.
>>From Gary…
Mitzi and I live in a coastal community. So, we always took hurricane threats seriously and complied with evacuation orders issued by local authorities. With the recent threat of an approaching hurricane, I was confronted with the challenge of moving us to safer ground. Unlike the old days, we would not be throwing some clothes in a pair of carry-on luggage and gas up the car. Aside from the prescription medicines, there were a host of contingencies to plan for. I couldn’t assume it would only be a couple nights–what if the house was damaged, authorities delayed reentry to the barrier islands, electricity was not restored for weeks?
With the luxury of several days to plan, I began staging supplies, often when I used them. I laid out short term and longer-term supplies, to include: protective bed pads, baby wipes, disposable bath wipes, hand wipes, toilet paper, paper towels, gloves, hand sanitizer, peri-cleanser, plastic garbage bags, ear plugs, towels, and Mitzi’s food supplements. I would also need to allocate room in the car for those things that could not be loaded until we left, such as Mitzi’s sound machine and her wheelchair. This was in addition, of course, to all the typical emergency supplies such as water, non-perishable food, flashlight, batteries, first aid kit, cash, clothing, blankets/sleeping bags, and important documents. I couldn’t be certain the hotel we went to would have electricity or water throughout the storm. I also had to think through some of the challenges of being confined in an unfamiliar hotel room with someone greatly incapacitated by Alzheimer’s. Does the hotel have an elevator to our room? How would I protect her from rolling off the bed? (Great idea from her sister: lay her across the king size bed, with the head board on one side of her and me laying at the foot of the bed.) How difficult will it be to assist her with using the toilet, taking a bath, eating her meals? How could I handle leaving the hotel room for a few minutes (for example, to get breakfast in the lobby)?
As I went through this preparation, I couldn’t help but think of how different it would be if she was still healthy. Mitzi and I loved to travel, which was a good thing since that was the only way for us to be together early in our relationship. Until we were married, we had lived in different time zones, and, for a while, different continents. We joked that we had to get married in order to date each other. As I prepared in the reality of the present, I imagined in another time saying to her, “Hey, the hurricane has scared everyone away from the Caribbean. There’s a fantastic rate for a hotel on St Maartin!” And, with a twinkle in her eye and an approving nod, we would be up most of that night getting packed to head out on a morning flight. It makes me angry and heartbroken that those days are gone. However, I take some comfort in, and remain grateful for, those days in the past when I would say, “Hey, you want to go…” and I would see that twinkle in her eye. ????
