The gentleman across the hall here at Hospice passed away tonight. His family was called but they didn’t make it in time. We heard an upset voice in the hallway at one point. Later, we heard one of the staff say she tried to get them here in time. She felt bad she was a little off on her timing. Maybe he wanted to go on his own terms, though? During the day, the parking lot is fairly full of cars. But at night there is generally one or two.
The Chaplain came to visit again today. Still looking at the bed with such sadness. “She’s so young.” Everyone says that. She is. Mitzi would be 59 on October 12th. The thing that always struck me about how different Early Onset Alzheimer’s is with her vs my experience with it in older people I’ve cared for is that I’ve had to shave her legs for her the past 2 years. When you’re older, the hairs don’t really grow much but when you’re only in your late 50s, that’s still something you’re dealing with just like empty-nesting, retirement planning, and making jokes about not needing Centrum Silver yet. Alzheimer’s at any age is so awful. At 58, it just seems more brutal. She is so young.
The Chaplain looked around the room at the Mitzi Fan Club assembled and said he was so glad she had visitors. He said most dementia patients have very few people come see them. Gary’s sister remarked that it was actually discouraged at one place where she visited a family member. “They don’t remember you at this point anyway,” she was told. Heartbreaking.
I don’t know what people hear or understand at this stage. But I know it’s always been so important to make sure someone is with Mitzi at all times. In fact, most of the time, we need crowd control. The Homecoming Queen’s Court, we joked.
What a gift to have so very many wonderful friends and family. Then again, this is just reaping what she has sewn. I hope when she gets to Heaven and she gets to watch the movie of her life, she will smile watching the scenes in this last week of her life. The voices of those from all the phases of her life telling the stories and sharing laughter and many tears. She would love this…I know on some level tonight, as her breathing becomes more labored and the morphine is needed more often, she feels all of this love being returned to her…????
