I read these questions a while ago. Some of them absolutely rocked me to the core. Never lose sight of how hard this journey is on the person having to walk it. Showing them respect and putting yourself in their world is so very important…
20 QUESTIONS
Here are 20 questions to ask yourself to help you understand why someone with dementia might get angry or aggressive:
What would you do if you had to walk a mile in their shoes?
How would you react if your children took your car keys away and told you couldn’t drive anymore for no reason?
How would you react if people told you it was daytime when you knew for a fact it was the middle of the night?
How would you respond if someone told you strangers would be coming to your house where you had lived alone for decades to take care of you because you couldn’t take care of yourself?
What would you say if someone came and took your dog or cat away?
How would you react if somebody kidnapped you from your home and took you to a prison full of sick and crazy people?
What would you do if the people in the prison ordered you to sit down when you wanted to stand up? Or made you stand up when you wanted to sit down?
How would you react if you wanted a drink and were told you couldn’t have one?
How would you respond if you loved peace and quiet and you were now surrounded by loud noises, and strangers who shouted, groaned and talked nonsense all the time?
How would you react if people less than a quarter your age talked to you like you were a two-year old?
What would you do if you wanted to escape, but all the doors were locked and you didn’t have a key? What would you do if you weren’t allowed out – ever?
How would you react if somebody tried to force-feed you? What would you do if somebody made you swallow pills you knew would put you to sleep when you wanted to be awake?
What would you do if a stranger tried to take something that belonged to you? What if they managed to get it and they wouldn’t give it back?
How would you respond if someone told you weren’t allowed to go into your own room? Or open a door? Or close a drawer? Or pick something up? Or put something down? Or go outside? Or go inside? Or do whatever you wanted?
What would you do if you were trapped, and you cried for help, and someone put you in a chair you couldn’t get out of and said you had to stay there?
What if a stranger wanted to come to the bathroom with you? What if he tried to undress you? What if he put his hand between your legs and under your arms and under your breasts?
What if you said you didn’t want to have a bath but people took your clothes off anyway and then they forced you into the bath and told you to calm down and be quiet?
What if things like this happened every day? How would you feel?
How would you express your feelings if you couldn’t find the words? What if you did find the words and no one listened?
What would you do if you were alone and powerless? How would you react if you had no control over your own life? What if you felt incompetent, invisible and inconsequential?What would you do?
