A very dear friend of mine’s father passed away this week. I got up this morning and started getting ready to go to the service because, even though I didn’t know him at all, I wanted to be there for my friend. She’s been in a caregiving season for a while now and I so appreciate that journey. As much as I wanted to go, as I was getting ready, I just kept feeling like I couldn’t handle it. I was afraid I’d fall apart somehow at the service. And it’s not that I was worried about getting upset (ask anyone who knows me well enough and they’ll tell you I have no trouble wearing my heart on my sleeve and having my Kleenex in my hand!), it’s honestly just that I probably would have gotten upset for all the wrong reasons…in my head, it would have turned into something about my own struggle instead of honoring my friend and her Dad’s life. But I so wanted to go. I texted another friend who I was going to meet there and explained. She called me right back and told me she totally understood and I was probably doing the right thing. Not that I needed that validation or “permission,” but it was so nice to hear it.
A couple of years ago, Mitzi and I sat through a class from the GriefShare ministry at my church. I had warned her that it would maybe be hard to listen to some of the stories in the video because it would all be focused on losing loved ones and how to cope with that. She insisted on coming with me anyway because she said she knew Gary was going to have to face that at some point and she wanted to have an idea of what that was going to be like for him. It was no easy task for me to sit through that next to her, knowing what a huge elephant there was in the room. So I can only slightly imagine what it was like for Mitzi. But she handled it with the same amount of face-the-problem-head-on class that I watched her handle so many of the heartbreaking parts of Alzheimer’s.
No one gets through this life sidestepping all heartache. Rough seas are inevitable. Grief is unavoidable. But seasons change. Even in the dead of winter, when the trees have lost most of their leaves, new life is beginning to form buried deep within the seemingly dormant branches, waiting for the opportunity to start emerging when the time is right…????
For more excellent tips for you or to support someone you know navigating the choppy waters of grief this season, check out desiringgod.org/articles/what-grieving-people-wish-you-knew-at-christmas
*Jacksonville friends: CrossRoad Church is again hosting an event called Blue Christmas on December 22 at 4PM. If you’re approaching Christmas with a broken heart because of grief, life transitions, or a crisis of any kind, I so highly recommend joining us for a special worship gathering as we seek hope and healing together. Childcare is available in the nursery for 6 weeks – 5th grade. 10005 Gate Pkwy N; Jacksonville, FL 32256 https://www.crossroad.church/events/christmas/blue-christmas-service
