I don’t often get in the car with men I don’t know, but today I did.
I was walking towards a store to kill some time before an appointment*. I saw an older gentleman trying with great effort to get his foot down a curb just outside of the T-Mobile store. He wasn’t successful in one area and shuffled over towards a bus stop sign to try and hold onto it in order to step down. Cars in both directions were getting agitated because they obviously couldn’t tell whether he was going to make it down and walk out in front of them or what. A couple of people walked by him, watching as they passed him. The way I’m wired got the better of me and I finally turned off the Me voices in my head and turned the volume up on the voice inside my heart and I walked over. I didn’t offer any help because, well, he was frustrated and sometimes people (read: men) get upset when you offer help. So I got in front of him, smiled, and said, “Hi! Happy holidays, even though it’s 82°.” He said, “Hello. Can you help me down from here?”
I hooked my arm through his the way I did a thousand and ten times with Mitzi in the past year as her balance got so unsteady. It was the slowest single step I’ve ever taken with someone. I didn’t let go of his arm right away because we were now almost in the middle of the street with cars watching and waiting on us. He said, “Since I’ve already got you, can you see a white Nissan SUV somewhere around here?” I told him there was one in a handicapped spot 2 lanes over. “I bet that’s it,” he said. “License tag has an L somewhere in it?” “Yep; I think we’ve got a winner,” I joked as I pointed us in that direction.
The cars that were quite backed up by this point, gratefully started moving again as we made our way to his car. In my head, I really questioned whether someone who couldn’t make it down one step was driving. He still had my arm and started shaking his head. “I’ve had a time of it. First I went to the dealership. For 5 months, this car won’t just call my wife when I push the button and tell it to. So I took it to the service department. They told me it’s T-Mobile’s fault. I just went to T-Mobile and they said it’s not their problem; go to the dealership. The man wasn’t very nice at all. I just want to push a button and tell the car to call my wife. And then have it call her. I was an engineer for 54 years. I started with computers when they were punch cards. I know we’ve come a long way since then and I should be able to just press a button to call my wife.”
I had to marvel at his mental acuity. He was sharp as a tack.
I’ve taught my kids about not getting in cars with strangers. By the same token, I think older people should be just as careful. Nevertheless, I offered to see if I could help. He said he couldn’t let me do that. He said he had already taken up too much of my time. I promised if I couldn’t fix it in 5 minutes, I’d give up and he could drive back to the dealership.
After a few minutes, and some practice tries, we had everything up and running and synced with his flip-phone (ahhhh, nostalgia!). He was able to call his wife and a few other important numbers on command with the push of a button.
After I gave him my phone number in case he had any other issues, he offered to pay me for my 5 minutes of tech help time. “Absolutely not, this is one of the things I do. I love helping people. But I would like to work out a trade with you. Will you take 5 minutes and tell me about the most important things you’ve learned in life?” His eyes lit up. 5 minutes turned into 25 as I sat in the seat next to my new friend Frank while he told me the nuts and bolts of his 90 years of life. Yes, 90. (“Well, in 2 weeks,” he was quick to clarify). He has two forms of leukemia, but right now his platelets are OK. He recently had a hip replacement, so that affects the MS he’s had since 1969 and makes it hard for him to handle steps.
I sat and listened to his stories and advice and smiled as I thought about how much Mitzi would have loved this opportunity. She would have run over to Frank when she first spotted him trying to step off the curb. She would have sat and talked to him as long as her day allowed her to. She made it one of her missions in life to let people know they were important by listening to their stories.
I’m so grateful the guy at T-Mobile didn’t have time for Frank’s simple request so he could cross my path today and remind me how valuable taking the time to care can be. And I’m so grateful for Mitzi, who was the best leader by example of all in that department. ????
*Edited to note that when I got to my appointment, the person had forgotten about it. I’d driven across town an hour and a half early to make sure I was on time, and ended up having to reschedule my appointment for another day…there clearly was a Divine Appointment that was more important for me today. ????
