Our long conversations are much fewer and farther between these days as it is harder for Mitzi to find the words. Getting more than a sentence or two out of her at a time can be tricky more often than not. She will answer questions and occasionally make comments about our surroundings. She’ll always ask how people are doing. But conversations of substance are becoming treasures.
Not at lunch today. Today she didn’t want a salad. She wanted a sandwich. So I knew today was different. As she was enjoying her fruit and chicken salad sandwich, while the rain poured outside behind her, she opened up about having Alzheimer’s. She chooses her words carefully and slowly, so it made it easy to write it out as she spoke. She gave me permission to share her candid thoughts here…
“I think God wanted me to have this to teach me not to just think about myself.And because I’m young, I can still give my time and energy to others and help them.
In the beginning, I thought, ‘This is going to be really hard. Because I have a young daughter and a son. And this makes me different to be their Mom.’ At times, I would get upset and wonder why this was happening to me. I was really healthy. Trying to lead a good life.
But I wasn’t going to run away from this. Because I can’t. I have support from my friends and my family. I think about my Mom a lot. I miss her. I wish she was here to help me. And it makes me sad to think about my Dad not being here anymore. But the good thing about being a believer is I know I will see them again.
I have been given the time to be able to help other people by sharing how this is for me. Because it can be upsetting. And lonely. But your friends go on loving you. And lifting you up. And there’s God. He is the one who picked me for this, I guess. So I have to make the best of it. And talk about it. And help people. And that’s the one good part of all this for me. You can tell people all that. It’s my heart…”
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