Almost a year ago, I sat down with Mitzi and wrote out what she wanted to say in a card to her daughter as she was leaving for college. Admittedly, there were a lot of tears from both of us that went into that handwritten note. Mitzi’s for obvious reasons and my own because I knew this was the big life event Mitzi had been fighting extra hard to hang onto her mind for…seeing her daughter fulfill her dream of headed out into the world and going to the university of her choice after years of dedicated work in school. Mitzi had made it to see both of her children leave the proverbial nest.
Mitzi’s decline wasn’t steep right after her daughter’s departure but it has been very steady in the past year since Mitzi and Gary watched her walk through those gates into her new adult life. She was home for the summer and, even though Mitzi has not had the presence of mind or gift of much communication, there have been moments of laughter and celebration, even though they were much different than they used to be in their household. One of her daughter’s greatest gifts to her Mom (and Dad) is that she possesses some incredible culinary skills, and Mitzi seemed to enjoy everything her daughter cooked. (Perhaps we all might have?! ????). Before she left for the university this weekend, she spent a few days in the kitchen, cooking some of their favorite dishes and packaging everything in easy-to-serve portions for the freezer. It makes me smile to think of how much easier it will be to get the bites in Mitzi when we can tell her who made her meal.
This year’s departure was a stark contrast to the one from last year. Instead of me snapping an obligatory picture of them proudly smiling, teary, and waving goodbye at the entrance to the terminal, it was a jarringly different scene. I took a picture of Gary and their daughter at the back door, said goodbye to them both, and then sat down to monitor the video feed as Mitzi slept peacefully, undoubtedly drifting on the sea of her dreams farther from the shores of the life and loves she knew before the merciless tide of Alzheimer’s began pulling her away…????
*Edited to note: I know it’s just as jarring for everyone to see the juxtaposition of how vibrant Mitzi was vs how frail and tiny she has become. It is awful. Mitzi and her husband have trusted me to share her journey truthfully and respectfully, but not so much so that we cover up the harsh realities of this disease because the world has got to get just as fired up and angry about the ugliness of Alzheimer’s as we are about cancer and the other cruel diseases roaming around and destroying lives without cures.
